Gingerlily
Posted by Gingerlily

(TW) Be my friend?

Hello fellow Revenant.

Please do not carry on reading this post if you are emotionally vulnerable (TRIGGER WARNING )

I am writing here with a nervous disposition and vulnerability that I have never had before but I feel like this Is a safe place that I have never had access to before – without the prying eyes of my parents, friends, instagram hashtags etc. And just that we are two strangers on the internet with one true love of a band and a passion for music.

I am coming through the end of a two year mental breakdown and I find myself isolated, on my own for the first time ever in my life aged 29. I am looking for new friends and I want to focus on creative projects and be the best version of myself. In a nutshell the past two years of hell have included:

2019
February – left domestic abuse relationship+house I owned with cat
March – r*****
April – moved home to alcoholic parents
November – car hit by truck on motorway
2020
April – alcoholic parents threw me out during pandemic
April – June – stayed on mattress in friends bedroom
July – s***** assaulted in new flat by photographer on photoshoot at new flat
July – made redundant from job
September – ADHD and Autism Assessment – maximum score on both
September – Attended Mental Hospital for solace
September – report friend to police for harassment
September – Parents come to door step unnanounced & forced to confront them about EVERYTHING

I am now in private therapy, on a waiting list for my diagnosis for ADD and Autism, I have started 5 new medications, smoke about 5x LESS weed, and I have a clear mind and have decided to terminate my employment with another company that I was furloughed and then signed off from so I can concentrate on my mental health. I also paid a deposit on a Kitten as I thought it would be good for my mental health to have a kitten; however, I reconsidered this and felt it would be best for the kitten to have a more stable home, and secondary I want to have more time to focus on myself and not have any thing else added into the mix at the moment.

As you can see, as was necessary, I have cut off my family. I do not have aunts/cousins/whatever, I have a small but strong friendship circle but only geographically located close to one. I would absolutely LOVE to make new friends. My interests are the following but not limited to:

-THE DISTILLERS – my favourite song it I AM A REVENANT. I have I am a Revenant tattooed over my heart in a coffin. I have over come depression many times in my life and I always liken coming out of a depression like coming back from the dead. This is why the song is so special to me. I saw Brody and Tony at her solo show in London, and THE DISTILLERS at Reading last year THE DAY BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY last year!! Absolute best birthday wish!!

-ART! I am a CREATIVE makeup artist – I studied makeup and special effects makeup at ART SCHOOL as an arts degree- I have a wealth of knowledge and experience of art history/fashion/disturbing research in injuries/wounds for special effects. I am obsessed with this.

-WIERD FACE – I worked in a property company for 6 years and my role I worked in Property investments, sales, lettings, management, compliance, HR, property management, training. By the time I was 21 I ran a Sales and Lettings Branch, Then by 22 I assisted running a £2.5million part of the business with 15 people working under me. I then worked for a brand new hybrid part of the business which I launched on my own and within a year I ad 4 people working for me and a 120% year on year business increase. I SOLD MY SOUL AND HATED IT. It’s weird being good at something you have absolutely no passion for??

My instagram is @gingerlily.jpg

Some days I have good days

Some days I have bad

I want to end the stigma on social media that you ONLY HAVE GOOD DAYS so I have videos of me crying my eyes out so please do not go on there unless you are emotionally able to.

Honestly thank you for even reading this post. I don’t even know what happens next after this post. But I just love the Distillers.

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